Prison of Anxiety

Talking about anxiety has never been a problem for me. I have been living with anxiety for several years already, and still, the stigma is hard to break. Not everyone could fully understand that experiencing anxiety can be overwhelming, especially with the presence of its physical manifestations in one's body. I would already consider it to be a big win when a day would pass without me having to experience bits of anxiety, and honestly, I seldom thank God for having to go through a day without it. But whenever I would have one, I never fail to run to God as quickly as I can. I know.. It's awful to admit, but like most people, we only run to God only when it's needed and convenient for us, or whenever we feel like there's trouble that we could not handle by ourselves anymore. But recently I was reminded that whatever emotion we feel or circumstance that we are in, we must strive to live a life for God and to make time for Him as best as we can, and not only when it's convenient for us. It's our way of giving back to God since He has never failed in His promises for our lives.

Just this morning, I read in my daily devotional the statement, "The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional." What a great revelation it is to know that even if in this world we may have anxiety, we also have the opportunity to control it and its outcome, as the prison of anxiety is unforced. We may be living in this world full of worries and anxieties, and it could only lead us there once we try to control every detail in our lives and our situations instead of fully surrendering everything to God. Part of my adulthood, I have been trying to control every circumstance in my life and whenever something is happens that's beyond what I was expecting, I would go overboard with anger and bitterness just because it was not what I was hoping for. But here is where our faith in God comes in. Instead of us trying to keep on asking why God hasn't answered our questions the way we expect Him to or why God hasn't healed us yet, we should just move past the 'whys' and begin asking what God can do amidst our anxieties. I know with all the questions that we have, it isn't far from creating frustrations and bitterness to arise. I know we just have to push aside the wonders of what could have been and what we should do when these things happen, but replace it with a question asking, "God, what are you doing with this? What do you want me to know and do? What lessons are you trying to teach me?"

We must start to believe that God is using the pain of anxiety to bring us closer to Him. It's always been said that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and being reminded by this greatly impacted me because I have always known that God would not let anything happen without His purposes. Through this experience, God causes our faith to grow stronger, our hearts to widen, and our relationship with Him to increase. When we feel like we are being locked in a prison, it’s easy for us to become so focused on the cage around us that we miss out on what God is doing inside us and in our hearts. So instead of piling up and listing all the unnecessary doubts that we have, let's replace them with a thought, “God, what are You trying to do with and through my anxiety, and how can I live my best life with You and for You?”